What started as a promising connection for “Andrew” (not his real name) on the dating app OkCupid turned into a distressing case of online sextortion.
What started as a promising connection for “Andrew” (not his real name) on the dating app OkCupid turned into a distressing case of online sextortion. Andrew, a Singaporean, thought he’d found love, only to be extorted and harassed by the woman he met. “We developed intimacy, and then she demanded money, threatening to share our private videos with my family and friends,” he recalled. Facing constant threats, Andrew was consumed by anxiety and despair.
He shared his experience in an audio message at Singapore’s Online Harms Symposium on September 25, an event that brings together experts to discuss pressing issues like cyberbullying and harassment. Held at Singapore Management University, the symposium runs through September 27.
Panic and Helplessness
Andrew described severe panic attacks that affected his daily life and work. Even seeing references to sextortion online would trigger intense anxiety. Attempting to confront the scammer, he recorded conversations as evidence, submitting them to the police. While he hoped the authorities could help, the international aspect of the case limited their ability to assist. Feeling powerless, Andrew sought advice from a friend at the non-profit SG Her Empowerment (SHE) and eventually blocked the scammer, also deleting his Instagram account to reduce exposure.
Finding Support and Moving Forward
With counseling support from SHE, Andrew has begun to heal, though the experience still leaves him anxious. “Months later, I still worry because they have my videos,” he said. “Anything could happen, even far into the future.”
At the symposium, Minister of Law and Home Affairs K. Shanmugam acknowledged the mental toll of online harassment. Referencing a recent study by SHE, he noted that three in five Singaporeans have encountered online harms or know someone who has. He highlighted that some laws, including the Protection from Harassment Act (POHA), may need updates to adequately address modern online threats, like AI-generated deepfakes.
“There needs to be further laws to empower victims of online harms,” Shanmugam said, emphasizing a focus on individuals and the rights they should have for protection and recovery.
For those needing support, resources include helplines such as the Samaritans of Singapore (1800-221-4444) and the Singapore Association for Mental Health (1800-283-7019).
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